Families of those with learning disabilities, cognitive difficulties, brain injury and Autistic spectrum disorders seem to encounter more stress than others. This often comes from having different family dynamics, but it also comes in the form of social stress. Symptoms of any disorder can upset the entire family, which can turn the home, typically a secure and comfortable place, into a cycle of frustration and stress. It is important not to think that you are alone in having to deal with family stress; millions of others are in the same situation. It's the ability to handle stress rather than suppress it that is important.

Nutrition is important. If you aren't eating properly, it can affect your ability to respond to stress. Supplementing your healthy diet will help in reducing the feelings of being overwhelmed by external stimulation/ provocation. We have a two supplements to help stress. The first is Vaxa's Extress It has nutritional benefits for the immediate situation as well as replenishing the essential nutrients burned up by the body during times of stress. VÄXA Extress is a doctor-formulated homeopathic medicinal designed to address how your body responds to stress and anxiety. It provides your body with natural support from stress, anxiety, tension, and nervousness without being habit forming for both adults and children.

For Family dynamics we highly recommend our line of cooperative games to strengthen the family unit.

We believe that family time should be spent playing together not against each other in most competitive games. We have found games that foster a spirit of cooperation by letting you all work toward a common goal. After all even the youngest player should be able to play side by side, each making their best contribution. The initial impulse to play a game is social; that is, why we bring out a game- because we want t to do something together. Playing co-operatively, you will see how encouraging replaces pushing and how ability and strength are used to help rather than push others out of the way. We can strengthen your family bonds and increase social skills at the same time.

There is an article on the Benefits of Cooperation. It is difficult to build your family unit with games for family time when competitive games sometimes leave one player feeling picked on or in tears. They do more to divide your family rather than build your family. It is hard to maintain positive feelings about someone who is trying to make you lose. Hurt feelings and arguments often result from competitive play. In a co-operative game, someone young and little can play with others older and bigger and not worry about being wiped out. We are all there at the end of it-together.

For personal or disciplinary time outs we recommend our therapeutic music and/or exercise:

When a family member has escalated to the point that there is no logical way of dealing with things it is often advantageous to remove them or yourself from the situation. Music can be a powerful intervention. Instead of just having a distraught child struggling to calm themselves in a timeout, add some music to the environment to assist them. It will help you calm down as well.

Another way to deal with stress is exercise. Research shows that frustration can turn off the supply of dopamine (a brain chemical that helps with self control and concentration) to the brain. Exercise can turn it back on. Any form of exercise is healthy and therapeutic for all individual wanting optimal performance from their brain. So if a person wants to "walk it off" or go for a jog to clear their mind, encourage them to do so. It actually balances the brain chemicals.

An article about the benefits of light and sound may also be interesting to you, because a more intense calming can be produced by light and sound machines.

Create a peaceful home environment. Study the effect of colors and scents so you can make an impact on your homelife with them. Water fountains and ionizers often help. Wall murals that feature such soothing subjects as "Oriental Garden," "Lake in the Woods," "Daydreaming," and "Dolphins Paradise." Playing therapeutic music for homework and meal times often enhances the environment making these events less stressful.

Keeping a positive attitude is a must in reducing stress. Prepare a file of things that are helpful to read in times of frustration. A renown author for inspirational articles on stress reduction is Alaine Benard-
She is an inspiration to many!!!!!
She has personally selected some of her articles for this page. I attached them to the end of this page.

Another healthy way to deal with stress is exercise regularly. Many of us have busy schedules but research shows that frustration can turn off the supply of dopamine to the brain. Exercise can turn it back on. The ironic thing about exercise is that it is free. Any form of exercise is healthy and therapeutic for all individual wanting optimal performance from their brain.

According to Dr. Ratey, co-author of Driven to Distraction and Shadow Syndromes, the chemistry of the brain can be affected after just 10 minutes of intense exercise--something equivalent to a sprint around the block, jumping rope, or doing several sets of push-ups. A little can go a long way when it comes to exercise and the benefits for your brain! This is good news for individuals who have difficulty fitting exercise into their schedules or for those who have trouble taking medication. The natural release of these chemicals can be especially beneficial for the many patients who do not respond readily to medications. Some studies suggest that a brisk walk is just as effective as taking medication for some patients. While exercise may aide in the treatment of symptoms accompanying AD/HD, depression, and various other disorders, it may not be a replacement for medication for all people.

Regular aerobic exercise increases the cerebral blood follow, which has many beneficial effects. The brain eventually gets more blood vessels growing to increase the demand for more blood and thus develops collateral circulation much like the exercised heart does to protect against a heart attack. But aerobic activity is not the only beneficial form of exercise. Studies show that even non-aerobic forms of exercise such as weight training are equally effective in treating depression. Research further suggests that even leisure physical activity helps to buffer the effects of stress and anxiety. Furthermore, some forms of exercise may actually be a key component for mental clarity. Dr. Ratey suggests that this may be especially true of specialized forms of exercise requiring coordination and concentration. For this reason, those trained in kickboxing, martial arts, or rock-climbing may experience greater mental clarity and concentration as the result of these increased connections.

Please feel free to email us your tips for reducing stress Holly@incrediblehorizons.com

For support in parenting see the following page:
NCLD Parent links Note: We do not necessarily agree with all the information posted on other sites about ADD/ADHD. Some sites are financially supported by pharmaceutical companies and therefore present biased information about treatments

For more info on healthy- drug free programs for successful living click on a link below

Homeopathic Ingredients in ExtressTM

“I praise loudly. I blame softly.”

--Catherine the Great

ADHD Doesn’t Have to Mean Unlovable

Alaine Benard © 2003

Annoys others. Can’t sit still. Impulsive. Blurts out and constantly. Has trouble in social settings. Didn’t complete job supervisor gave him. Argumentative. Easily frustrated and causes trouble. Works unsafely and is not dependable on the jobsite. Stays out past curfew. Disorganized and off-task. These are some of the comments heard from teachers or bosses when discussing family members with ADHD. Conversations such as this cause a myriad of negative emotions in the caregiver.

Unconditional love. Learning to be the perfect caregiver. Do it all for love. Sacrifice—the key to perfect relationships. With enough willpower and effort, we can all be surrounded by the happy, loving family members seen in the minds’ eye. These are the phrases that are instilled in our subconscious. They become goals, which in turn become unrealistic expectations. In the end, the original optimistic dreams can be replaced by cancerous feelings of anger, disappointment, depression, or bitterness.

Realistically, caregiving to the individual with ADHD is an extremely challenging job. Sometimes the best efforts make no impact on their behavior. Inordinate amounts of love, advocacy, and hands-on guidance appear to do little to counteract the undesirable symptoms at certain times. The constancy of complaints from others, interactions filled with battles, tears, hurtful words, and thoughtless actions, grind down the strongest of resolves. Rewards can be few and far between for the caregiver, adding to the sense of hopelessness.

You don’t have throw in the towel and run away from your family—and the misery you find yourself in. Using the following proactive techniques will help even the most ‘unlovable’, once again become the recipients of your loving feelings.

Distinguish and separate your expectations~ Make a list of what you expect from your ADHD family member(s). Next, list what you think others expect from your ADHD’er and of you, as caregiver. Discuss the items with the people you’ve assigned them to. Readjust your lists according to what each individual truly expects. Now the hardest part; take a truthful look at what you expect from yourself. Many times, it is the caregivers’ expectations of themselves that need the most work and self-correction. It is quite normal to think others are judging our loved one when actually it is coming from within.

Acknowledge your emotions and hurts~ Allow yourself the feelings of disappointment, anger, or disapproval when your ADHD’er’s behavior warrants. Do not allow guilt or misguided loyalty to persuade you that negative actions must be accepted and cannot be improved. Spoken or silent excuses (“He can’t help it, he has ADHD.”) only exacerbate issues and send the message that you’re willing to allow them to continue. If your spouse puts your family at risk, or your child behaves inappropriately, address the action and how it impacts you, other family members, or workmates. Make your point calmly while stating your opinion and observations. Listen carefully to the rebuttals and then restate your case, making sure each person is accountable for their actions.

Develop and implement an accountability roundtable~ Agree upon workable goals that will eliminate unwanted situations. Include any positive compliment or example you would like repeated, ask for resolutions, and then take the steps towards forgiving the offender. Institute a weekly family roundtable to check progress even when there are no problems looming. This healthy habit forms deeper bonds, open communications, and a chance to share positive experiences, as well as resolve the not so pleasant.

Separate symptoms from irresponsibility~ Misinformation will cause caregivers to unwittingly promote negative behaviors. If one believes ADHD’ers have no control whatsoever over their actions, then they are setting themselves up to live in chaos. Attend lectures, seek support, and read recommended books about ADHD. Ask your professional medical team for suggested resources. Form your own network with people who are educated and in-the-know. Some ADHD symptoms do cause the sufferer to act out in less than desirable ways. However, with work, consistency, and discipline, many of them can be diminished and overcome if the caregiver has his sights fixed on success. Don’t handicap the ADHD’er (or yourself) by supplying excuses when accountability is called for.

Relighting the unconditional love candle~ Stop further erosion of your relationship by ignoring conversations that disparage your family member. Excuse yourself when others talk negatively. Irreconcilable differences and hurts can be avoided when caregivers prepare themselves properly. By facing reality and making strict, orderly plans; a sense of control should prevail. Before falling into the pit of powerlessness and hopelessness, ignite your inner love candle that’s been gutted. Take some time looking over their baby pictures and remember special moments. Pull out old love letters, poems, and photo albums from happy times. Recall all the wonderful qualities you first fell in love with. Hold the Christening gown in your hands and remember holding your tiny, trusting newborn. Watch the face of your sleeping loved one and send them a silent blessing. Get in touch with the love, caring, and tenderness you once felt for your ADHD’er. Look around your world and think of how empty it would be without their daily presence.

Take care of the Caregiver~ It is absolutely mandatory that the caregiver recognizes and provide for their mental health and emotions. Without some personal time away and some pampering, caregivers will experience burnout. Once this happens, even small problems become overwhelming and disproportionately stressful. It is in everyone’s best interest that you take time off. Banish guilt and make it a top priority to treat yourself on a regular weekly schedule. You don’t neglect your loved ones, so why neglect yourself? Recharging your personal batteries enables you to continue giving so much to the ones you love.