The
Benefits of Cooperation
Cooperation is conducive to better
health and liking one another. - Alfie Kohn
Was your child eliminated from the spelling bee and
came home in tears? Have you heard
of an athlete who took steroids to win? How
did you feel when you were chosen last in a game because you were not as
"good" as the others?
All of these events reflect our preoccupation with competition.
The concept is deeply rooted in our nation's education, sports, politics,
and even in families. Author Alfie
Kohn, in his well-researched book No Contest:
the Case Against Competition (see page
21), writes how "we are encouraged to pit ourselves against one another
and taught that competition is a prod to productivity, a builder of character,
and an unavoidable part of human nature." Kohn claims, "Any win/lose
structure is psychologically destructive and poisonous to our relationships”.
It's ironic that we play games to be together yet spend our efforts
trying to bankrupt someone, destroy their armies, conquer the world, etc.-all
goals which create hostility and separate us. Success does not require someone
else's failure.
Competition was virtually unknown to the Zuni and Iroquois in North
America and to the Bathonga in South Africa.
The Mexicans of Mexico regard envy and competitiveness as a minor crime.
From kibbutzniks in Israel to farmers in Mexico, cooperation is prized
and competition generally avoided.
It does not have to be a "dog eat dog" world. We can unlearn
that kind of learned behavior. Why not play "King of the Mountain"
where everyone stands at the top? Or where everyone occupies the last chair in
"Musical Chairs"? How
about family members deciding together who does which household chores? What
about businesses sharing information and resources? Just imagine the global
benefits of nations working together and negotiating so everyone wins!
Cooperative concepts are beneficial in school, work, play, in personal
relationships and are easily understood in the context of games. Here are
several benefits:
Bonding,
Support, and Playfulness
It is hard to maintain positive feelings about someone
who is trying to make you
lose. Hurt feelings and arguments often
result from competitive play. In cooperative
play, challenge, discovery, and success
are shared. Emphasis is on participation, acceptance, and the "joy of
play”. In the end, your relationship with each other counts. Children gain
stronger bonds with parents, siblings,
and playmates.
Teamwork
and Shared Decision Making
Competition makes it difficult to share our skills,
experiences, and resources because
each person is separately involved in his
or her exclusive goal. In our schools, and work places, students
and employees are often taught to regard each other
not as potential collaborators, but rather as opponents,
rivals, and obstacles to their own success. In cooperative settings, every person's role is important and valued.
Individuality is respected, and concern for the needs
of others fostered. The challenge
shifts from "striving to be
number one" to working toward
a mutual goal. The idea that
we all share in decision-making is a
powerful tool.
Openness,
Trust and Safety
Often competition in work and play results in arguments,
hurt feelings, and separation. Many games are based on secrecy and intimidation resulting in
players feeling unsafe. In work or play, People really
want and need to feel safe, be open and
honest, and above all feel trusted.
Cooperative situations help create that
atmosphere, because participants give encouragement
and support of one another.
Self
Worth and Personal Power
Cooperativeness has been linked to greater learning,
emotional maturity, and strong personal
identity. Participants often become more flexible in their thinking and willingness
to invent creative solutions. The result is enjoyment, personal confidence, and
a feeling of self-worth. As your personal power grows, you get that
"I can make-a-difference" feeling.
Well-being
Most competitive situations are highly stressful. -
The possibility of failure
creates agitation if not outright anxiety. The fear or anger generated from being eliminated or
losing often causes embarrassment, tension, and hostility. Cooperative
activities are non-threatening and non-judgmental. As a result, this creates an
atmosphere for relaxation and
well-being - the foundation for
more genuine, healthy, and playful
fun.
You
are welcome to reprint this article for others to use...
Some cautions. We don't protect children from not making it to the summit or completing the space voyage. Our games are designed to offer realistic challenges. But the cultural habit of competing and confronting adversaries runs deep. Some players end up fighting the game itself. We suggest that you'll get better results learning how to get along with "Time", "Winter"," Gravity", and "Mountains" rather than fighting them.
Aside from all these serious considerations, some people just want to share an enjoyable and challenging time with friends. We feel that co-operative games will prove to be that friendly form of fun.
The challenge. In sum, games are used in various settings and for various reasons, Socialization, entertainment, academic learning, character growth, etc. Whatever your objective, we invite you to realize them by co-operative means. Parents and teachers trying to teach children to share, be kind to living things, and help others out often are troubled by games and recreation programs which undermine these values. Our games provide the opportunity to experience sharing and caring behavior. We simply don't have enough of such experiences.
Helpful Hints Also please spend time with your youngest and/or the lowest functioning child to ensure they understand how to play the game prior to using the game for family time. We have also found it easiest to understand the game if you have all the game pieces spread out in front of you while you are reading the instructions.
Link to Social Skills Groups & Games
Link to games age 3 & up
Link to games 7 though Adult
Link to chart of skills enhanced by our line of Games
More on playing together
Email Holly@incrediblehorizons.com with any questions
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